Jumat Pertama Bulan November 06

December has come..
Ternyata waktu cepat berlalu.. and I am still here.. :((

Hari ini ikutan jumat pertama di Bapindo...
Mumpung ada Ian.. even I have to miss Nila's party
Kapan lagi bisa agak tobat kalo gak skg... Iya gak..

Banyak yg ikutan jumat pertama... mungkin around 100 orang dalam 1 ruangan.
Romonya lumayan ok...
Kotbahnya tentang kehidupan kita...
Tentang telur n Kentang...
Kalo dua2nya dipanasin... hasilnya beda...
Telur jadi smkin keras, n kentang smkin lunak.
Katanya romonya, this is the same with our life...
When we have many difficulties and trouble... you only have 2 option.
Jadi telur : keras, mulai menyalahkan Tuhan dan menjauh dari Tuhan.
OR
jadi Kentang : menerima masalah2 yg ada dan mohon bantuan Tuhan.
You will remember what Maria's said when she had a big trouble.
Pregnant before married.
"Terjadilah padaku menurut perkataanMu"
This is really nice word even we hardly apply it in our life.

Jadi intinya.. Tuhan pasti meringankan beban kehidupan kita kalo kita mau datang padaNya..
It's look I am wise, right... :(( even not...
At least, I can see the other side of my life.
That God can release all my trouble.. (not all, kali ya..) if you come to Him..

Thanks God...
You're the best one...

Alone and Opportunity

Sometimes I felt alone
I know that some people still care of me, but this feeling comes up when I am in the blue

What will you do if one expected opportunity open to you?
Surely you will take this...
Seem the path of your life widely open

And how if this opportunity still close and you wait for years?
The patience will be your measurement.
If you are not patient enough, you feel that you live in the bottom of this earth and losing hope
Worst come to worst, you will ask if God is in and why He didn't assist you.
Sense of desperate will get near to you...

The other way, you have to create oppurtunity.
The question is, HOW??
I have no anwer yet up this moment...
And I feel that this environment is getting worst..

After Lebaran Holiday

I'm back to work today...

huh... I still missed my previous holiday
Eventhough it's been filled with fighting..

Separuh pikiran, masih ada dirumah, tapi badan udh ada dikantor..
Kantor masih sepi banget...
cuma beberapa orang yg dateng..

Pokoknya harus dikuat2in deh..
supaya cutinya bisa mencukupi sampe akhir tahun...

utk habisin cuti.. kira2... enaknya liburan kemana ya??
udh mulai ngerencanain sih...
dengan catatan... :
blm hamil lho...

tapi, kalo udh hamil... mending liburan ke bali kali ya..
ato yg deket2 aja... ke bandung kali..
wah.. sayang... sepupuku masih diamrik..
kalo dia udh ada.. kan kita bisa jalan2 bareng ke bandung..
cari makanan enak disana deh..

I missed batagor, yamin dll
Pengen jalan2 nih...

Wednesday Slow Machine...

Rasanya kalo dengerin Wednesday Slow Machine di Kiss FM..
feel that I'm back to some memories behind..
Ehm... Someone which I dreamt of
Especially when I was in Senior High School..
Until I found the right person now...

Song: You - Ten Sharp

It's alright with me as long as you are by my side,
talk or just say nothing, I don't mind your looks never lie.

I was always on the run, finding out what I was looking for and
I was always insecure, just until I found

Words often don't come easy, I never loved to show you the inside of me oh no my
You were always patience, dragging out what I tried to hide

Chorus:
I was always on the run, finding out what I was looking for and
I was always insecure, just until I found
You you were always on my mind,
you, you're the one I'm living for
You, you're my everlasting fire, you're my always shining star.

Nights always are good friends, a glass of wine and the lights down low.
You lying beside me, me full of love and filled with hope

This couples days is an ordinary weekend...
Stay at home karena sakit yg gak jelas..
Radang tenggorokan, sakit telinga, pilek, sakit kepala..
pengen cepet sembuh.. pengen minum obat..
tapi takut... Am I pregnant??
I want to get pregnant soon.
I dreamt of the cute baby..

In the mean time, pas aku kegereja kemarin.. injilnya pas banget
untung yang ngebawain Romo Yoseph.. jadi gak bete utk dengerin lah ya..

Injilnya itu tentang Yesus yang tanya ma murid2nya..
"Siapakah Aku ini?"
Dan yg bisa jawab adalah Petrus... dan dia jawab, Yesus adalah Mesias
Trus.. waktu Yesus ngajar ke orang2 kalo Mesias itu harus menderita, ditolak sama orang tua2...
Petrus lgs narik Yesus.. n minta supaya jangan ngomong kaya gitu..

Yang paling menarik nih....
Yesusnya bilang... garis besarnya ya... "Apa yang dipikirkan Allah, bukanlah apa yg dipikirkan manusia"
Dan contohnya itu lumayan menyentuh..
kemarin ada warga matraman yg ketabrak.. tangan n kakinya patah..
waktu dibawa ke rumah sakit, susternya bilang utk nyediain dana 8 juta
istrinya yg sakit... cuma bisa nangis.. karena gak ngerti mau pinjem sama siapa.. karena mereka gak punya duit sebanyak itu..
Once.. waktu yg sakit ngeliat ke atas.. dia ngeliat salib disitu..
trus dia ngajak istrinya berdoa.. n berserah sama Tuhan..
Setelah itu... temen2 org yg sakit itu pada berdatangan.... n ngasih amplop.
dari tetangga2nya, temen gereja, temen kantor dll
Setelah itu temen2nya pulang, istrinya pulang kerumah.. n ngitun amplop yg didapet..
N you know... uang yg diterima bener2 pas 8 juta...

It is really amazing..
God works in different way..
Dia bener2 tau apa yang kita butuhin..

So, Only God know when He will give me child or job..
He know the right time for me..

Jadi, skg ini kita cuma bisa berusaha n berdoa..
kalo usaha kita gak berhasil... doa bisa menguatkan..
Fortunetly.. I have a great husband yang selalu mensupport aku..

Thanks God... You really give me the best thing in the right time..

Let it flow

My friend at office had been informed that she could not join to the company since she failed on her test.
It really hurt due to she has been loyal to the company for 4 years...

Ngeliat itu semua, aku jadi berpikir..
mungkin Tuhan masih mau kasih jalan lain..
Mungkin aku tetep dijadiin temporer biar bisa belajar banyak..
Mungkin aku harus lebih mikirin keluarga daripada karir..
and so on and so on..

Waktu sepupuku tanya.. mana yg harus dipilih..
Karir ato Keluarga??

Mungking kalo aku jadi dia, aku bakal pilih karir..
mumpung masih sendiri (single fighter bho..), bisa kesempatan untuk sekolah di Amrik,
bisa jalan2 n memperluas wawasan...
Wuah.. jarang2 yg bisa dapet itu semua.
So I prefer to pick that choice...
I wish.. :((

Tapi kalo keadaannya udh punya pasangan, mungkin beda lagi...
Seperti apa yg pernah dibilang bude tercintaku..
rejeki itu gak bakal kemana. Burung pipit aja dikasih makan sama Tuhan..
Jadi.. mungkin skg saat nya utk mikirin keluarga..

So.. don't worry for future
God know what we need in future..
You just stay tune on God

God will make a way

God will make a way

God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way
He will make a way

By a roadway in the wilderness
He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and earth will fade
But His word will still remain
He will do something new today.

Couple days before

Hari jumat, 4 Aug kemarin, papa n mama dateng ke jakarta. Rencananya mau ngebicarain utk nikahannya adik.
Mission done.

Sekalian, hari Senin ngerayain ultahnya adik di babeh Lili... makan pada kalap...habis laper sih..
makan ikan baronang, kerapu, cumi dll.
wuah.. enak deh... mungkin karena laper kali ya..

trus, hari ini pulang ke jogja...
anyway... even kadang sering berantem sama mereka.. kadang mereka ngangenin..
I am really proud of them
It is much pleasure to have a nice parents like them..

in the other hand, I lost my earring... :((
This earring is given by mama...
N yang paling aku suka, it is diamond ring... (every woman surely like it.. doesn't she..)
Sedih deh....
Aku gak enak sama mama...
Hoping I will find in the other place...

Under uncertain circumtances

Do you ever feel under depressed?
What do you do if the same feeling came over you?
Did God help you?
Did friends assist you?
Did husband come and solve the problem?

How's life is really hard.
Where's God when I need him hopelessly..
Did He hear my voice..

Dari tadi terngiang2 lagunya Dewa...
"Hidup adalah perjuangan tanpa henti2..."
Kalo inget lagu ini... rasanya aku harus bertahan utk tetep kerja..
Walaupun gak enak sekalipun..

Minggu ini ditempat aku, ada 2 orang yang resign...
Jadi 7 bulan belakangan ini ada 7 orang yang pergi...

Kadang aku iri.. easy come, easy go...
Tapi kenapa hal itu jarang aku alami ya..??

Hidup memang penuh perjuangan...
Waktu muda.. masa-masa mencari cinta..
Ada rasa suka, sayang, sedih, patah hati, cemburu..
Pokoknya campur aduk kalo dikaitkan ma cinta.

Waktu sudah menemukan cinta, rasanya hidup masih blm lengkap
Masih harus menjalani pacaran, tunangan... (kalo yg mau ini..), nikah, punya anak...

Cinta ada sejalan dengan kehidupan kita...
Dari kita masih bayi, sekolah, kerja, sampe skg....

Ngomong2 soal kerja...
Skg hal itu yg bikin aku sedih dan bersyukur...
Sedih, kenapa aku blm dpt kesempatan untuk dpt kerja yang baru..
Dapet medical allowance yg bagus... dapet bonus...
Ato kesempatan utk bisa ketempat orang yang mau resign ditempatku...
tapi sampe skg bos ku masih ngeliat keluar aja tuh..
hik..hiks....
Kadang mikir... kok Tuhan gak adil sih...
Tapi kalo dipikir lebih dalam..
Tuhan masih tetep sayang ma aku juga...
walaupun aku cuma temporer.. tapi aku masih dikasih kesempatan kerja...
walaupun kadang2 sisi kemanusiaan aku selalu muncul n akhirnya malah jadi bete deh..

So.. what should I do...??

Minggu lalu aku ada interview ma salah satu bank... Seminggu 2 kali interview ma bank yang sama...
Sebenernya, aku lebih sreg ma interview yang terakhir...
Tapi... mungkin harapan tinggal jadi harapan...

Untungnya, suamiku dpt dapat tawaran dari bosnya utk pindah kerja..
Belum tau kemana, tapi aku berharap kerjaan yg sekarang bisa lebih baik lagi..
paling gak, aku gak terlalu ngoyo untuk kerja..
Soalnya aku pengen hamil....

Ngomong2 soal hamil, sabtu lalu, aku ke gereja...
Ngeliat anak kecil cewek... cantik...
Rambutnya dikucir 2....
Maunya main lari2an terus... jadi terkenang waktu kecil yang sering didandani mama pake pita yang lucu2...
Trus, ngeliat bayi... Lucu walaupun agak item...
Ehmmm.. kayanya kalopun aku punya anak, pasti anaknya bakal seitem bapaaknya.. :))

Sebenernya aku pengen cari kerja dulu.. baru hamil..
maklum.. kebutuhan hidup makin meningkat..
kalo ngandalin suami.. kasian suami...
Tapi skg aku pasrah aja deh...
Kalo sampe september masih blm dpt kerja.. mungkin aku memang harus mempertimbangkan untuk hamil

Gimana rasanya hamil ya...????

I am so tired...
I just wanna stay at home, get pregnant soon, have a baby.. and take care of her..
It seem so nice to have imagination like that...

Tapi gak mungkin juga...
Biarin suami aku kerja sendiri... sedangkan saat ini aku jadi tulang punggung keluarga..

Will God help me??

Married in unexpected situation

Unbelieveable...!!
That's the word I can express to show how I feel..

Earthquake make all the things different
Got married after the earthquake in Jogja has a lot meaning..
Happy and sad....

My grandpa died on that tragedy...

Days before Married

Sometimes it is so difficult to believe that I will get married..
Banyak persoalan yg blm terpecahkan... ditambah sama yg namanya merit..
Takut sih... but this is decision I made
Bisa gak ya, hidup bareng ma suami dengan segala kompromi...
Kompromi ma keluarga besarnya juga...

Blm lagi, aku pengen cepet punya anak...
Tapi aku masih kawatir... terutama soal finansial..

Why everything seems to be scared..?

Terharu....

Kangen ma sepupuku yang lagi sekolah di pittsburg (benern gak sih nulisnya....) ... biasanya bisa sharing2 bareng.. apalagi kalo lagi bete...
Menjelang nikah.. jadi lebih sering senewen.. n don't know where I should share it to...